Trust Your Feelings

We get in the habit of labelling our feelings as good or bad, positive or negative but there’s a problem with this black-and-white distinction. It stops us from accepting, trusting and benefiting from the full range of our emotions and feelings.

So how can we learn to trust our emotions?

A good place to start is to understand what our emotions are for. At a very basic level, they keep us safe. Just like physical pain, our emotional pain tells us something is amiss. If we ignore physical pain, damage is done. Then we need to stop doing the thing that is damaging, to heal and rehabilitate to restore function. Emotional pain needs to be attended to in the same way. It's better to attend to discomfort before it gets to extreme pain. 

Our feelings also make our lives rich, varied and beautiful, and they make us human. They are as important to us as water, food, having a safe home and love.

The poet William Blake reassures us that our feelings are natural and normal, to be respected and befriended:

“It is right and should be so;

Man was made for Joy and Woe,

And when this we rightly know,

Thro’ the world we safely go.

Joy and Woe are woven fine,

A clothing for the soul divine.”

Another way to begin to trust our feelings is to realise that they are all equal, valid and important, neither good nor bad. It's more helpful to think of them as either draining our energy or renewing our energy. This is actually what happens physically. When our feelings drain our energy, all our bodily systems, including our immune systems, are put under stress, weakening them. When our feelings renew our energy, all the systems in our body function well and in balance with each other. Homeostasis is the term for this and it’s in this state that our bodies, minds and spirits/souls function at their best, easily and efficiently.

Our feelings are meant to flow, to change, to move through us and pass. If we ignore them, stuff them down or try to hang on to the "good ones" it creates tension and emotional imbalance. They are also meant to be felt fully so that they can flow, shift their energy and so we don't get stuck in them. And, importantly, they give us information about what is happening in our lives, information which we would do well to listen to and trust. We can see our feelings as a compass or constellation to help us navigate our lives. Our feelings are like signposts saying, “This way, not that way”, “This is good and health-giving for you", "This is harmful”.

In Rumi’s poem “The Guesthouse” he likens our feelings to visitors at a guesthouse,

 “...Be grateful for whoever comes,

Because each has been sent

As a guide from beyond.”

Understanding that we can have control over our feelings can help us trust them too. When we notice how we are feeling, we can develop the skills to change how we feel in the next moment. (Sounds impossible? Have a look at The HeartMath website. They are an institute who conduct research into the connection between our feelings and our health and teach people how to change their feelings.)

During his medical career in the early 1900’s, Dr Bach recognised the impact of our emotions and feelings on our health and also observed that we can change our feelings. He developed the flower remedies to change draining feelings to renewing feelings, restoring balance and harmony to our physical, mental and spiritual systems.

Bach’s flower remedies can help you trust your feelings and use them as signposts to guide you to greater calm, emotional wellbeing and to be your best self. With greater emotional wellbeing comes increased resilience during life's challenges, and increased agency and self-esteem.

If you’d like to know more, book a Clarity Call with me. It’s free, friendly and comes with no obligation attached.

Artwork: Laura Hughes